NTA. Also, his son lived with us for three months and hates my mom and I simply because she didnt enable him like his father does. and our You don't have to tell me about how awful some doctors can be. Hell get seriously hurt one day. Bottom line, it's your mom's party and she decides who she wants there. The family is lucky they haven't called for a restraining order. I don't think I am the asshole because I suffered years of his abuse and don't feel I deserve to be spoken to like that. Yes. He could have died. Toxic masculinity at it's finest. Isnt it weird they think the respect they have for him matters? Wtf is your dad smoking? What about terrible family. OP should have stopped them long ago. They are just immature jerks. Id agree theres a clear pattern of disrespect and scary antics here that I wouldve cut off long ago. It seems uour fiance has been rejected from the toxic masculinity club. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? Who cares about their opinions of your husband to be? I feel bad for her but worse for Timmy. Tim is your family, and family stands up for each other and help them with a tire change, not slash them. Your family already drove that wedge, not Timmy. I'd have dipped a long time ago and if they don't stop, her bf will too before long. anyway, its my mums birthday next week and i was going to take the family out for dinner at a nice restaurant. They could have killed him. NTA. Who makes them the judge of what is a good man? That wasnt a prank or a joke, it was an act of cruelty. Tbh the fact that they did this shows me what kind of character THEY are and honestly, i would have kicked them out aswell. Ngl he did what he could to help me out with school and everything, he even offered to fund my wedding which is going to be in 5 weeks time and I'm very grateful for that though this was his decision. Gotta love it how a husband will make it your fault for bugging him to simply fucking TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. I understand this is the environment you grew up in, and might not know better, but hopefully these comments help with that. Wtf is wrong with these guys! I don't think I could stand to be around a gaggle of some Super Straight 'wHaT aBoUt InTeRnAtIoNaL mEnS dAy!?? The men in her family are clearly toxic, and she seems to write it off as "boys will be boys". I had a fever of 102 by the time he got the boot. Only ones he were allowed to see where my grandparents. But if you only slash 3 tires you have to pay out of pocket. It isn't easy to do; it isn't easy to learn when to do it. Asthmatic here. It's usually even worse with family. Never invite them back. NTA its bullshit toxic masculinity, men do not test each other like this unless they have frail egos themselves. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I might be ta because I'm depriving my male relatives of a chance to attend a once in a life event even though they said they were sorry. Taking away someone inhaler is life threatening. NTA they took the pranks way too far. Even if it did though, so what? I'm fighting them all. He should have checked them a long time ago. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving. Not slashing tires or stealing medication. You're TA for continuing to subject your fiance to them. I read her family slashed his tires and I was thinking this man is a saint for continuing to try with this family. Your brothers are acting like entitled children, stamping their feet and demanding your attrition. What they did was just so cruel. NTA, your username is more accurate than you may even realize. Hiding an inhaler? He sounds pathetic. I f22 grew up in a family where men prank and tease each others. My asthma is not that severe but Ive been there I really needed the inhaler. Slashing his tires? Nta for revoking their invites. That is bullying plan and simple and it could have harmed him. These are NOT pranks. Just as an aside, do you know what it is like to try and stand up, do the right thing, or even just express a new opinion, and have people laugh you off or talk over you just because you're a small, female-born, young-looking individual? This is a really bad troll. It's not fun. Theyre just acting sorry because youre making a stink about it. I'm on the hope the stepdad pulls his money out of her wedding train too. NTA depending on how severe his asthma is then no inhaler = death. I, on the other hand got to live with my stepdad more since I'm the youngest and we established a somewhat stable relationship. Strength is setting boundaries, power is enforcing those boundaries. I usually dont agree with people on this sub when they say to cut people off for the simplest of transgressions, but this is more severe. ESH. It's helped me to learn how many families with addicts change to fit the addiction. Far from it. NTA, I have asthma and that's no joke. YTA for allowing this to go for as long as it did. Most of us grow out of that around puberty, and those that don't absolutely deserve to feel the consequences of their poor choices because what excuse do they have? Yet I still had a feeling something would happen when it came to my wedding. Managing your family is your job, and you were somehow ok with the constant insults, belittling questions, slashing of tires, etc. Amen. This guy is going to go through an unending life of abuse if he doesn't cut and run. And your mom isnt any better for enabling them. Tell them that your wedding is childfree and they can come when they grow up. Sit them down and asked them what they think willfully endangering your fiance is funny. Woah. Thats it. Who knows what theyre going to pull at the wedding and even after. if something is destroyed or someone gets hurt (regardless of intention) then it is not a prank. Something they weren't at all worried about. Cut those degenerates out of your life! Having just recovered from an asthma attack a day ago, I can attest that asthma is no joke. You would at least need someone to take you to the store. For the people telling OP that shes TA for not cutting off sooner, please understand that for most people that grow up in this type of environment we become slightly apathetic to it and make excuses cause we think its NORMAL. We had multiple meetings and conversations to mend our relationship where he'd shed crocodile tears but we'd always end up having a blowout argument where he would say awful things and we wouldn't speak for months. NTA Its also not a prank if not everyone is laughing. Tell your husband he'll be more stressed if it turns out to be a serious condition. Im a woman, but it my now-husbands family had treated me even 10% this badly, literally committed crimes against me they could be charged with criminally, I would not have continued dating him, much less married into his family. . First, none of those "challenges" are typical of things men do and several are legit crimes. They are being toxic AH, stealing necessary medication is not a prank. Probably should have been too. It's their property". NTA. You need to do more than not invite them from the wedding. NTA. You have already been uninvited, just let bygones be bygones. "I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. Ain't they laughing? My dad (50 M) and I (24 F) have had a complicated relationship. NTA they took his medication! And you let it happen for way too long. NTA. They're just bullying your fiance because they don't like him I assume. Bringing you the freshest and best posts from r/AmItheAsshole Timestamps:0:00 - AITA for causing my sister to no longer have her college paid for?2:14 - AITA. NTA. My only question was why havent you died on it sooner? Its fucking property damage! yes this..I have asthma and have had several severe asthma attacks that if I didnt have an inhaler on hand I probably wouldn't be here typing this. This is insecure assholes being assholes because they feel intimidated by OP marrying a guy that is likely more successful. Agreed. Risking death because your family is shit just isnt worth it in the long run. NTA wtf??? Aaaaaw.. they nearly killed him!!! Edited to add although YTA for letting it carry on I actually mean ESH. Dont let any of those family members ruin an extremely special day between you and Tim. There was nothing boarderline about this it was harassment and they endangered his life on purpose. Idiots. Please OP, have someone you trust or can hire to be security at your wedding. They're being mean and trying to downplay it. Organized bullying isn't funny or a prank. But stay strong. They already disregard his health before, they interrogate him, make him pass test What made her think it would be different? It was really sad she was in her mid 20's like this shit can be life threatening if an attack isn't treated correctly. Absolutely ridiculous. Yessss!! It's yours. They likely thought my claims of abuse were unfounded at best and malicious at worst. Point out your brother as an example of how they have failed. Some people say they just don't want to scare you and fear you'll refuse the treatment (or they just don't want you to ask questions they'd have to answer). NTA. TPing a house is a prank. Last week, They took Tim on a 3 day trip and hid his inhaler, he left them and returned in 7hrs and told me, I was seething after he said they admitted to hiding it as a "challenge", I exploded on them when they returned. OP, the men in your family are the living definition of toxic masculinity. Asthma is a serious medical condition and if he had had an attack and they couldn't find his stolen medication, he could have been in a world of trouble. Thanks for doubling down, Dad. Mens mental health is important! Aita for uninviting my parents to my wedding; quad cortex neural dsp price; the forest fly command; python flush output; salvage car auction virginia; the book of psalms explained pdf; heineken hoodie; steel pipes suppliers in uae. NTA a prank is a Whoopie Cushion not slashing tires. Also making someone play chess naked is weird. Don't let his presence tarnish a day that is meant to celebrate how amazing and strong you are. Your family members sound horrible, I'm so sorry you have to deal with them. Time to tell dad that people find him to be a thug and a criminal and don't respect him because he treats people badly. Im sorry but these people suck. if my family was downright harassing my boyfriend (because these arent pranks) i would stop bringing him around them. Tyre! What would they have done then? So, in theory my lung could open up more. Does your idiotic family not understand that they could have ended a human life cause of pranks ? "My stepdad did what he could "I literally freaked out because I definitely want my brothers to be at my wedding so badly and I tried A woman has been slammed after uninviting her stepdad from her wedding, . OP, it sounds like the men in your family are jerks and hoping your future husband wont disrupt their dysfunction. Go no contact. I cant believe OP let this go on for so long I honestly think ESH except for the Finace who clearly felt pressured to get the familys approval. After she hung up I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. They also sound horribly insecure. I agree. Since I assume none of them are medical professional, how exactly where they planning on testing his asthma? I don't know a single man that does those supposed "challenges". The critical thing here is that OP HAS learned that this behavior isn't ok. Good job, OP, for defending your (edit: future) spouse against the abusive men in your family. So it's safe to assume they would have stopped pranking after they "accidentally " killed him? These people are sick, and they stay in a pack to reinforce each others sickness. Timmy isn't the one driving the wedge. I'm so sorry your family did this. Honey, you are merely the first to cut him off, so you will suffer for it from family who will see you as the wrong doer and try to get you back into his clutches, but gradually others will also become disillusioned and see your example and also cut him off and things will get better. What they did is unacceptable. OP this is the path your male family members are headed down. These men are absolute Neanderthals! I'd go no contact over this. NTA that's not pranks, that's bullying. Wow I wonder how manly they would be if your poor partner suffered a major attack and sadly passed. Assholes do this. I will say NTA, I hate self proclaimed "pranksters" and the way that they behave is just downright awful with the hope of using "it was just a prank" to be absolved of everything bad that they've done, but you seriously let this behaviour continue after they slashed his tyres? But not to everyone. NTA you are prioritising yourself and your mental health and thats the right thing to do. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. Op is young and grew up with this, I dont fault them for not knowing better but the lesson here is its okay to stop talking to abusive people even if their family. If they wanted to be at your wedding they would have respected both you and your fiance instead of bully/assault him. I dont any men who pull the crap your family did. I wouldn't be surprised if intentionally hiding a medical device is illegal too, it certainly should be. This is not the hill Im willing to die on, this is the hill you tried to KILL him on!. We have been together for 10.5 years and they have gotten to see him less than 10 times total. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I think you had every right to call them out and univite them; their response says it all. You cant be around these people at all, and you sure as hell cant ask Tim to risk his health and safety for the sake of pretending that your family is just a little quirky or whatever. Totally agree. NTA. I'm almost done and it's been a lifelong dream of my mother's to have her children graduate from college. NTA. What if they show up trying to get revenge or prank him ruining your special day together (which we all know they would). They hid his inhaler???? They TOOK his INHALER. I was pinching pennies for a good chunk of that trip. The soft college boy clearly they feel insecure around him or they wouldnt treat him like that! What theyre doing is ritualised abuse motivated by toxic masculinity. To not breathing. Same with our vehicles. Dont ever invite them. What respect can you have for the family members pushing you to ignore this violent, aggressive and potentially harmful behavior? Who stands up for what is right? OP this is a hill worth dying on. But while its slightly soothing to me and my core family to know that basically, I cough. WTF! I had my first asthma attack when I was 5, and I don't know when this whole "test" thing starts in your family, but it has the potential to kill your future kids. (jfc the warped mentality has me spinning). Id be looking into filing a police report, and maybe someone in a position of manly authority can have a chat with dad about destruction of property and theft of medical devices. A lot of the things you describe arent pranks at all. In the post titled "AITA for uninviting my cousin, brother, uncle and dad to my wedding over a prank?"?" Thank you for writing this so that I didnt have to. The notion that someone should be concerned about how much of a man your fiance is is just outrageous, and you should've tried to put an end to it at their first "prank". By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Attempted murder. Slashing tires and deliberately hiding people's life-saving medications are not pranks - hold your ground and keep them out! Im glad you fell far enough from the family tree to speak your mind. I'm autistic as well, and I agree that the /s helps a lot because we're at a point where I wouldn't be surprised either way. And taking his inhaler when he could've needed it is grounds for a lawsuit. Next time they try to manipulate you into downplaying their behavior by holding their respect for Tim at ransom, tell them they will lose your respect and see how much they care about it, my guess is they won't. The fact he still wants to continue in this relationship says a lot about his feelings for you. NTA. Destroying his property to make a point? I would have been gone the moment I realized my "partner" thought any of this was okay. Absolutely none of this is "good natured fun". Thats criminal. NTA, in my opinion you're getting a pretty good deal, cutting one toxic member of your family out and a few enablers are going with them. Damn. They could have killed him. Be sure to throw in about how they are sissies and not very manly for not making it through this simple challenge without help. Is it possible she thought she was doing you a favor letting you off the hook since she knew you really didn't want go in the first place? Here's a suggestion tell them that you'll invite them back if they tell a cop exactly what all they did, and ask the cop if it was illegal. They've done stuff like forcing him to play chess 4 times in a raw, secretly slashed his tires to see if he'd fix it himself like a man or get help like those "lazy" guys, They'd asked him questions like what joke he'd like to tell his future MIL, his opinions on abortion, jesus, gender equality etc. He'd still be here if his thinking wouldn't have been "I'm not going to the doctor, they just find things wrong with you." So, NTA, and you're totally right in cutting them off. They would have just said he had left it at the campsite and tossed it back with his things or just lost it or something. Jesus may love them but you dont have to like them. Thats not pranking. Welcome to the end times. They literally admitted to attempted murder, I mean the husband could always put a stop to those challenges but the fact that they hid the inhaler is unforgivable. They fixed their own cars and were proud of that. Until and unless they decide to give a heartfelt apology and change there actions I wouldnt consider wanting anything to do with them. I think OP should have shut this nonsense down before the inhaler "prank" ever happened, and I'm almost inclined to consider her the AH for that reason alone. NTA but uninviting them to the wedding is the bare minimum response. Sometimes that is worth the peace of mind, and sometimes it isn't. He sabotaged your relationship with your mother and hurt you in the process. Actually I'd call OP TA for continuing to expose Tim to this. to be honest, if I were your fianc Id reconsider marrying you if you didnt put your foot down here. Pretty soon they will be cutting his brake lines to see if he is a real man and can bail out of his car. If anyone slashed my (or fianc) tires or stole my life-saving medication as a prank, not only would they be uninvited from my wedding, theyd be out of my life completely and facing criminal charges.
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